Synchronicity #3: When You Left

When you left last time, we shared long hugs and kisses. And I swear I could still smell your scent in my place for a few days after you walked out the door. Like a taste that lingered, refusing to dissipate. Like a phantom that wandered, not wanting to disappear.

What we thought was goodbye, was not.

Synchronicity happened once more and we crossed path again, albeit very briefly. And I found my world to be shaken once more, out of its equilibrium. Such is your power on me, such is your charm on me.

And then came another goodbye.

When you left this time, we shared long hugs and kisses. I rest my head on your shoulder, on the nook just under your neck that held my hopes and unspoken words. Your skin and beard brushed softly against my nose, and I breathe in deeply. The familiar faint scent of your cologne comforted me.

I breathe in deeply just to take it all in, in an attempt to absorb the moment more. This fleeting moment that may not come again. The world was on a standstill for a while, and I secretly wished it would stand still forever, if not for longer.

"You take care." You whispered softly into my ear, your voice caressing my soul, leaving an echo in my mind. 

When you left this time, we shared long hugs and kisses. And I was left wondering when will we sync again, as you walk away with another piece of me.

Goodbye. Perhaps this time it's forever.

Synchronicity #1: Hurricane

To the boy who came and go like a hurricane,

I dreamt of you.

I dreamt of you for two nights in a row. I was not sure what they were about. I only remembered you being in them. It was not a sad dream I suppose, as I woke up without feeling blue, but with just a thought:

"I wish you well."

I wish you well wherever you are, whatever you do. Even though you went silent and sent no words back, I wish you well still.

You told me that all your travels to the mountains and the remote places didn't make you find yourself. "No. That's bullshit," you said with a soft chuckle and with what I thought was a distant gaze.

But I know that you went out in search for something. And I hope you'll find whatever it is that you're looking for, beneath all the hard rocks, the blanket of snow, and the high peaks.

I am thankful we came across each other's path and embraced the encounter with fire in our souls, the heat burning down from our lips to our veins.

"Grab life by the horns and just ride it!" You told me when we saw each other for the last time. You repeated it twice, it felt as if you were saying that to convince yourself too.

You came and go like a hurricane. It was no coincidence. It was synchronicity.

And I was never the same again.

Why I Travel

I think nowadays, as we are living in such an open world where access to information and communication is so easy, it is understandable that the desire to travel and to see the world increases. To explore is a basic instinct for human, and frequent exposure to traveling in this modern world only accelerates it further.

Personally, I have always dreamed of exploring from a very young age, starting with my interest in Greek and Egyptian myths. And I still vividly remember, one day when I was perhaps about 12 or 13 years old, I saw a mesmerising footage of Provence on TV and fell so desperately in love with its lush lavender fields and luscious mimosa trees. I have yet to visit it, unfortunately, but it has always been on the bucket list, waiting to be ticked off at the right moment.

Traveling or rather, the desire to travel, has become so popular nowadays that some people look at it in a bitter (or jealous?) way, saying that it is another way to show off or boast of your success, etc. In some parts, it is probably true, but why bother evaluating one's reason or need to travel? Some people travel to shop, some to do sport, some to see concerts. To each their own. 

I travel for several reasons, and here are some of them:

1. To eat.
I seek to experience new things and meet new people, and food is a big part of it. A bowl of a simple local dish could hold a deep and rich story of culture. And you bond over food, be it with the old uncle who manned the stall or with fellow strangers next to you. When you've finished your meal, sometimes you're left with a full stomach, a warmed heart, and a broader mind.

Clockwise from top left: Gurney Drive hawker's food in Penang (Aug 2013), tapas at The Bell Brook in Hong Kong (Nov 2013), dimsum in Hong Kong (July 2013), Beach Road prawn mee in Singapore (Nov 2013)

2. To discover the gift of gab.
I often travel alone and while this sounds depressing for some people, I like the solitude it provides, not to mention the amount of control I have over my itinerary (yes, admittedly, I am a mild control freak). Anyone who knows me well would say that I am a quiet and reserved person. I may look outgoing or talkative, but it's a part of me that I've trained in order to do my job. But sometimes on a trip, if I let myself go for a bit and relax, I could bond with the people I meet along the way. These small conversations could lead to some valuable insights and interesting stories.

Paris (May 2011)

This chic Parisian lady (look at her shoes, her hair, her well groomed Yorkshire Terrier!) was sitting alone on the bench when I sat down, and she started talking to me when she saw my Annick Goutal paper bag. "That is a very lovely perfume, which one did you get?" "Violet," I replied. "I have Gardenia," she said with a smile. A bottle of perfume could spark a story, and I kind of regretted not staying a bit longer to chat with her. I feel like there could be a deeper story hidden within.

Hazel & Hershey, Hong Kong (Sept 2013)

I was hanging out with an old friend at a small specialty coffee shop around Wan Chai area, when I got into a light discussion about chemex, aeropress, and moka pot with an Italian guy next to me and the owner of the coffee shop, who happens to be one of the top barista in HK. What followed next was two cups of coffee "samples" on the house. It was not the free coffee that lifted up my spirit that day but the discovery of kindness in strangers (and getting some valuable information about coffee didn't hurt either). It serves to remind me that it always pays to be friendly and sincere to the people you meet along your journey.

3. To be lost and to find myself.
Ultimately, I think this is it. Call me a hopeless romantic. Thus why I don't mind traveling solo for now, while I wait (and look) for the right travel partner to share my experiences with. For there is this strong need to be lost and a yearning to be found harboured inside of me.

Blanche

"The idea of Blanche is, as the name suggests, built around the perception of the colour white, in an effort to capture untainted innocence." -Ben Gorham, founder of Byredo

2013 has been great for me. Not fantastic, but I am grateful. I finally have my own space where I can nest in and where I can cook my stress away. I traveled quite often and got a chance to visit not just one, but two new places.  Work has been wonderfully challenging, despite its ups and downs. My health has hit some low points but I still laughed a lot. I've met new people and made new friendships, enlarging my social circle and making me richer. 

And even though love has not made its way to stay, I crossed path with a beautiful stranger who filled my sky with fireworks; briefly yet beautifully.

As we are nearing the end of 2013, I wish to start the new year with a fresh and pure approach. Clean and crisp white pages set for more exciting stories of travel, laughter, love, and adventure. Paint it red, paint green, paint it black, paint it with rainbow; life in 2014 will be vividly colorful.

Lull Me to Sleep

"I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?" -Ernest Hemingway

Indeed, Mr. Hemingway. Perhaps that's why I have trouble waking up every morning? (Excuses for the sloth). For now, I feel like I sleep with my eyes open and live the day with my eyes closed. As much as I want to see and feel everything, there are days when I long for nothing more than to live inside my dreams, even though I hardly remember any of them.

2013: A Late Hello

I'm not am avid believer of "Starting Fresh on New Year" or "The New Year Brings Forth a New Chapter" or all those other familiar jargons you often see or hear come new year's eve. Life goes on anyway, whether you want to move forward or not, and everyday is a new day. You can start fresh anytime, so why wait 'til January 1st?

Positivity is also not written on my book nowadays. I'm as skeptical and cynical as a grumpy old lady who always complained about her neighbour. I always say that I'm a realistic person, but who are we kidding here? I am a dreamer just like many people out there. And if a dream of a perfect life (or love) is ridiculously impossible, then let's just dream of exploring and discovering. It is easier and more viable.

"The #resolution is to travel more. Years may change, but this never changed."

That was one of the things I wrote on my Path, shortly after we entered the new year. This may not be a real resolution, this could be just a wish that I've harboured all my life, ever since I learnt about the power of dreaming, the rush of exploring, and the satisfaction of discovering.  

So, in 2013, let's go places. Alone or with company, it doesn't matter--I will go places.

Longing for Silence

There are times when 
words are unnecessary,
superfluous and empty.

When silence is stronger,
holding more meanings
than a flood of words.

A silence that is comforting,
not awkward.
A silence that is warm,
not cold.

A silence that connects,
not detaches.
A silence that binds,
not breaks.

A silence that's intimate,
not strange.
A silence that's assuring,
not implausible.

And I long for that silence,
a loving silence.

Paris, 2011

One day, I'll find someone who will sit silently with me in a coffee shop. Where we would both be absorbed in our own books, lost in our own worlds, without ever feeling distant. Because we both know that we're connected in a way no words can describe, tied and secured by an invisible cord called "intimacy".

One day.

Letter for the Old and New

Dear 2011,

You came along with lots of changes; small and big, good and bad. You've granted some of my wish from 2010 and even more. I traveled a lot, mostly to familiar places, but the highlight was the opportunity to finally see and experience bits of Europe. So yeah, you've been AMAZING. Thank you.


Dear 2012,

So I heard that you'll be rough around the edges for me. But oh well, I'll just have to keep calm and eat more cupcakes -while having more coffee or martini in between. I do hope traveling opportunities will still be present as this small wanderlust needs to be fed. Fingers crossed, I look forward to more positive things to come.


Sincerely,
Me

Someday. Soon.

Someday, I'll get lost between the alleys and canals of Venice
or run across the glorious lavender fields in Provence.

Someday, I'll stumble across fresh produces in the markets of Paris
and smell the colorful spices in the Grand Bazaar of Istanbul.

Someday, I'll savor street foods in Djemma el Fna, Marrakech
and walk across the white-washed buildings of Santorini.

Someday, I'll sit in silence under the Northern Lights in Iceland
or have a picnic under blooming cherry blossom trees in Kyoto.

Someday. One day soon, I shall see many places.
=)


wanderlust (noun) \ˈwän-dər-ˌləst\ – an irresistibly strong desire or an impulse to travel far away and explore different places.

Viva La Resolutions

I've said earlier that I'm not making any resolutions for this year. But after a while, I decided to make one because I simply need it.

And my 2009 resolution is:

To wake up earlier everyday so I could reach the office on time.

So far I've failed numerous times. LOL. I'm not a morning person. But this morning I managed to do it and came to the office at 9 a.m. (I know that's late for most people but trust me, that's considered early in my place, because most of the times we came at 10 or even later).

Well, the main reason of my 'success' was because I had to finish some work and send it this morning. But hey, turns out I can do it. Hahah.

And over the last week, I've been looking at my friends' albums of Coldplay's Viva La Vida tour in Singapore recently, feeling so jealous and full of regrets of missing yet another opportunity of seeing them performing live.

Yes, another good opportunity -wasted, again. I was offered a free ticket during the X&Y concert a few years back by someone, which I had to refuse because I was so broke I couldn't even afford the plane ticket. This year I thought that I shouldn't go because, well, SGD is so high lately so it's better not to get myself broke afterwards.

BIG mistake.

To top up my jealousy, turned out there was Christian Lacroix 'The Costumier' exhibition at National Museum of Singapore around the same time. Argghhhh! Please, just kill me! Kill meee!!

Okay. So, I've made another resolution:

The next time Coldplay's coming down again for another concert in Singapore (most probably for their latest album), JUST STAB ME (or slap me or wank me -whatever!) if I don't hop into a plane A.S.A.P. to see them!!

And may this resolution be fulfilled.

Amen. 

A Dream of Three Snakes

Previously, I've said that I don't dream when I sleep. Or rather, I hardly ever remembered them when I woke up. Which probably means that I had a deep sleep.

But lately I've been having restless nights which resulted in my body aching when I woke up in the morning or even headaches. I even could remember dreaming though I don't always remember what I dreamt about.

I had a weird dream a few nights ago and it was quite vivid. Since this is a rather rare case, I decided to write it down.

The dream centered around snakes.

I came home holding 3 cages which hold a snake in each. One is petite in size (small and rather short) but it glitters and sparkles as if it's covered in sequins. One is thin and of medium lenght, with orange and black stripes pattern. And one is big like a baby phyton, with the normal greenish brown skin pattern.

I couldn't recall why I bought them, but it couldn't be because I like them (because I'm quite petrified with snakes). But in that dream, I wasn't really scared.

The small glittery snake was rather snobbish or fierce. I picked it out of ts cage and it wiggled and writhed until it finally escaped from my hand and immeadiately disappeared. I tried to look for it but it had run away. I was scared that it went to the neighbor's house.

I remember that there was someone else there who was with me, but I couldn't really remember who.

Then the orange snake was suddenly out of its cage (I don't know how, don't ask). It was rather evil and I felt like it wanted to attack us. But just as it was slithering closer to us and got into an attacking/defencing position, suddenly the big snake came to our rescue.

It devoured the orange snake in one gulp.

I woke up not long after that. In my drowsiness I tried to grasp at what I just saw in my dream, trying to make sense out of it. But as many dreams are, it was bizzare and absurd.

I still don't know if it means anything though my colleague, Varin, is very certain that it does. She said the snakes must be representing a person or a situation (she even googled it down for me).

Anyone here could dechiper the meaning of dreams? Do let me know. =)

[I dream of] Santorini, Greece

Another part of Greek isles that I fell in love with is Santorini.

It's also a very popular spot for tourists and travelers, I know (so it should be rather expensive too). But really, how can I resist its charm?

Browsing around, I found that Santorini is more colorful than Mykonos. Some of the buildings are painted in sweet pastel colors that looked amazing when set against the clear blue sky. And I'm still not sure why, but there are lots of cats in this island (oh yes, I can see some of my friends' eyes gleaming with excitement upon hearing this). Maybe they see the island's architecture, with all the stairs leading up and down the hill, as a fun big playground.

[I dream of] Mykonos, Greece

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been fascinated by the Greeks. Mainly because I loved to read Greek myths.

Olympus with all its Gods and Goddesses and the rich history of Greek civilizations enchanted me in a way that at one point, I even decided that I wanted to be an archaeologist (my fascination with the Egyptian Gods, Chinese dynasties, and dinosaurs also made me even more certain about this cool profession).

Hope is Just A (-insert action here-) Away

Me and my sister did a marathon DVD nights last weekend. Genre: romance/comedy. And all movies happen to be based on chicklits.

On Friday we watched 27 Dresses after the so-called bachelorette party. On Saturday we watched P.S. I Love You. And on Sunday we watched The Nanny Diaries (it's my second time seeing it, but the first time I didn't really pay attention).

Romance films, especially romantic comedies, have always been one of my guilty pleasures. They're light, entertaining, don't require lots of thinking, are usually a feast for the eyes (because of the good looking casts), and most of all, they kept us dreaming -- of that so-called perfect love and that so-called prince charming. They are the modern versions of fairytales which tell the story of love and (mostly) happy endings.

By watching these kind of movies, we're swept away from reality for a few hours. Forget that you've been going solo for years. Forget that the guys you met (and sometimes dated) are mostly jerks. Forget that you've a knack for being involved in unhealthy complicated relationships all the time. Forget that you're single, broke, with credit card bills to pay. Forget every shit that's happening in the real world. Because in that few hours, the world seemed ever so sweet and perfect, and that all things bad will turn out good in the end.

These movies gave us hope. That there's a teensy weensy bit of chance that life would turn out as sweet as fairytale stories (or chicklits). Such is their charms and spells.

But then again, after the spell had lost its power, we'll be forced to face reality once more. And we came to re-realize many things:
1. That someone as perfect as Gerry (from P.S. I Love You) only existed in movies.

2. That a love as perfect as Gerry's only existed in movies.

3. That someone like Kevin (from 27 Dresses), also only existed in movies. He's a dream guy: bitter and sarcastic but at the same time sweet and thoughtful (sigh...).

4. That a cinderella tale like The Nanny Diaries only existed in movies.

5. That Gerard Butler is just oh-so-perfect -- the face, the body, the voice... hmmm.. yummy..! Uhm, okay, I'm steering off topic here (let's save my fantasies of Gerry only to myself).

Oh yes, reality sucks. Bohoo. But it's quite comforting to know that there are many ways to escape the dreadness of it.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonades, or lemon meringue pie, or lemon sorbet, or tequila shots, or vodka sour (oh well, you get my point). When life gives you shit and nightmares, you can always turn to books and films, or others. It's only just a flip or a click away.


P.S. I (Not) Love You:
Contrary to popular beliefs, ahem, I mean contrary to my own expectations, I did not cry like a baby when I watched P.S. I Love You. Maybe because I watched it on DVD and I got so many distractions from people around me that the mood wasn't built well enough (try concentrating on a movie with someone nagging you and ranting on to you every second). On the other hand, I cried when I watched The Nanny Diaries. The part when Grayer was chasing the taxi that took Anny away with force is just heartbreaking. Out of all 3 movies, I found 27 Dresses as most entertaining, The Nanny Diaries as most eye-spoiling (great art direction, the transition from statues to humans and vice versa in the museum is superb), and P.S. I Love You as sweetest and most romantic (of course). Now I feel like reading the books (I've never read a chicklit before).

P.P.S. : I love love loveee Gerard Butler!

[I dream of] Jodhpur, India

I was smitten by this city when I saw Barry Vera's program, Feast India, on Discovery Travel And Living.

Still in Rajashtan, India, Jodhpur is the second largest city in the state, also known as the Sun City due to the bright, sunny weather it enjoys all year.

[I dream of] Jaipur, India

I'm always enchanted by India's rich culture, food, and colors. I collect many things Indian - I've a wide collection of Indian accessories (esp. bangles) and some India-inspired clothing. I also enjoy their music - well, not the pop ones like from the movies, but rather the chill-out version like the ones from Putumayo. And lastly, I'm very into yoga. Hahah...

[I dream of] Istanbul, Turkey

I am a small girl with big dreams of traveling the world. Always have been, always will be. And I hope one day that dream of mine would be fulfilled. I've already had some must-visit-and-explore places on my list. From now on, I'll post them up gradually, one by one. It's a long list - and it'll keep growing longer.

Most places on my list are places with strong culture, stunning architectures, and rainbow of colors. I am a sucker for exotic culture and beautiful images.

Now, first on the list to be posted is Turkey.