Pardon My Sobbing, I'm in A Psychotic Mood Shift

A friend of mine forwarded this email today:

The  Hormone Guide 

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS	SAFER	SAFEST	ULTRA  SAFE
What's for  dinner?	Can I help you  with dinner?	Where would you like  to go for dinner?	Here, have some wine.
Are you  wearing that?	Wow, you sure  look good in brown!	WOW! Look at  you!	Here, have some wine
What are you  so worked up about?	Could we be  overreacting?	Here's my paycheck.	Here, have some wine.
Should you be  eating that?	You know, there are  a lot of apples left.	Can I get you a piece  of chocolate with that?	Here, have some wine.
What did you  DO all day?	I hope you didn't  over-do it today.	I've always loved you  in that robe!	Here, have some wine.

13  Things PMS Stands For: 

1.  Pass My Shotgun 

2.  Psychotic Mood Shift 

3.  Perpetual Munching Spree 

4.  Puffy Mid-Section 

5.  People Make me Sick 

6.  Provide Me with Sweets 

7.  Pardon My Sobbing 

8.  Pimples May Surface 

9.  Pass My Sweat pants 

10.  Pissy Mood Syndrome 

11.  Plainly; Men Suck 

12.  Pack My Stuff 
 
and my favorite one: 

13.  Potential Murder Suspect 

Amazing! I got a real laugh reading it. It's as if she was reading my mind! I was more or less riding in a roller-coaster mood swings these past few days and I think that today is the peak (I'm pretty much sure I'm going to get my period tomorrow). 

And not only am I having my PMS, I'm also officially penniless. And my payday won't come until early next week -- hopefully on time by Monday, as it is the 23rd. And it's the weekend. 

So imagine my depression. I feel like either I could kill someone or sob all day. Or both.

Though I didn't (or haven't) kill anyone today, I did sort of sob all day today. Well, almost. I had to stop myself from breaking down in front on my colleagues during lunch today and in front of my mom and grandma during dinner just now. I know, I'm such a wreck.

I feel like shit right now and I seriously need wine. Or any other form of alcohol. But of course if I'm to go out to get wine, I'd need money. Which makes it so very much impossible for now. 

So as I'm ranting on and on here, at this moment, I'm waiting for a bottle of white wine to chill in my fridge. I'm stuck at home (yes, home, on weekend). I was thinking of doing yoga for an hour by myself as I skipped the gym today, just to calm myself down, but I'm too busy complaining about my life now that I lost track of time.

Bottom line, I'm skipping the meditation for another type of (so-called) meditation. I don't think I'll be able to concentrate either. I always have a hard time focusing and relaxing on meditations. 

Now I'm drinking a shot of Bailey's Mint Cream while waiting for that wine to chill. Don't worry, it's just a mini bottle, so I won't really overdo it. Plus, I'm currently listening to some New Age tunes from one of my favorite album, Inspirational Moments II. 

Skipped the relaxing exercise for a relaxing substance over relaxing tunes. Hope it'll help to calm me down.

But if I don't get my paycheck this coming Monday, could someone please Pass My Shotgun? I think I'm gonna be a Potential Murder Suspect.