Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Need vs Want

What is the difference between need and want?

Need is something that we should have – it is based on necessity. Want is something we think we should have – it is based on desire.

For instance, I need :

1. A job – a good (and fun) job that allows me to give my full potentials and at the same time develops it to a new level, or maybe unfold the hidden potentials in me. Sounds too perfect? You bet.

2. An external hard disk – a big one, say, like 80GB (at least), to store all my files and leave my iBook’s almost-full-hard-disk more space in order to work more efficiently. It’s littered mainly with music files, movies, and pictures and is taking forever to render just one frikkin’ .psd file.

3. A digital camera – just a simple one, like Canon A3 or A4 powershot. I lost my Sony while traveling in Hong Kong and haven’t been able to document a lot of silly, absurd, and nonsensical aspects of my life since. No, I don’t see taking loads of pictures as being narcissistic. In fact, I used to hate the camera. But now, I see it as a way to freeze-hold memories (what I’ve done, where I’ve been, what I’ve seen), however artificial it may seem. Human brain won’t work the same forever and, sooner or later, it’ll lose its capabilities to hold memories.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

04.40 am

Tick Tock
Nothing but the clock
Eating up my mind
Consuming my thoughts
Why I keep falling for the wind

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Discovering (My) Vocation - Part V

At first I thought the job would be related to fashion in a way. But as always, I was wrong. It was almost on the bottom-most list of the fashion industry. We were just the manufacturing company. The mediator.

Oh well, I told myself that, “Hey, at least they’re still related, even though just a tiny bit.” I thought I was going to enjoy the job. But again, I was wrong. (Garment) merchandising, simply put, is all about managing timeline. That includes productions, communicating with the buyers and suppliers, and some administrative tasks. I spent 80% of my day in front of the computer, sending and reading emails. I was trapped inside my inbox.

It wasn’t a really difficult job. It was bland. Boring. I didn’t despise it, but after only a few weeks of dealing with trims (buttons, threads, patches, and so on), payments, and shipping schedules, it got so damn boring. But nevertheless, I stuck with it, thinking that I should stay and learn more. Trying to keep myself interested.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I Have Done So

Every once in a while, in life, we would meet someone that would leave a significant impact on us. Like footprints on sand on our hearts. Like ink on paper on our souls.

It is the smell that lingered around and stayed in the air, long after that person had vanished from our lives.

It happened sometime a year ago. Two hearts met amidst this weary world. I was broken and tired, seeking comfort in my solitary confinement. He was free and full of life, reaching out to the world vivaciously. I tried to avoid him with all my might. But I was drawn to his unlimited passion.

And before I realized, I’ve sank deep into that pair of brown eyes. Lost inside those seemingly bottomless hazel pools.

There was no escaping it.

He opened my eyes, made me saw the colors of life. He stirred my senses, got me in touch with the hidden passion I have. He awoken my dreams, made me realize I have so much to give.

But I was made of wood and earth, he was made of fire and wind. I did not know whether we would complement each other or whether one would destroy the other -or maybe destroy each other. What felt so right seemed so wrong.

I threw away logics and embraced that fire. The fire that later would burn me down to ashes. And because he was wind, one day he had to leave. I knew that, but I went on. And when he finally left, with trails of his soft breeze behind, the sky opened up and poured rain unto me. Covering my tears. Falling down, like scattered pieces of my dreams.

But that was then, now is now. Out of the ashes and tears, new hope flourished, growing tall and strong. And whenever a wind blows, I’d scatter my dust for it to bring, so parts of me would not be bound to stay put.

I have held. I have lost. I have laughed. I have cried. I have kissed. I have missed. And most of all, I have loved. Truly and deeply.

I have loved.

And I’m glad I did.

I was alone thinking I was just fine,
I wasn't looking for anyone to be mine.
I thought that love was just a fabrication,
a train that wouldn't stop at my station.
Home, alone, that was my consignment.
Solitary confinement.
So when we met, I was getting around you.
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you.

(Looking For Love - Karen Ramirez)