Brevity #8: Silence, Word

With words
you woo me.

With words
you break me.

With silence
you crush me.

In silence
—I'll vanish.

Brevity #7: Space

You came
occupied my place.
Turning things
upside down.

You came
filled an empty corner.
Bringing warmth
alongside chaos.

You left
vacated a room.
Leaving foot marks
fingerprints allover.

You left
emptied your spot.
I sleep diagonally
to fill in the space.

Brevity #6: Patience

Sometimes you make me feel high.
Most times you make me feel low.

At times, things feel right.
Other times, things are so wrong.

Your caress fills me with joy.
Yet your abandon left me crushed.

I am struggling to love
your imperfections perfectly.

Wondering, along the way,
How long will my patience stretch.


"Nobody's perfect," said a friend.
True, but if I feel like some pieces don't fall into place, should I ignore it? Nobody will change, so I must learn to accept --or simply walk away. 

Brevity #5: The Dark Sea

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.


In this time of uncertainties, the storm that is in my heart and my mind, Neruda's words came like a lighthouse. Guiding me to a land, away from the doubts.

But the land which awaits, will it be a lush and beautiful one or a dry and barren one? How would I know? There is never a certainty.

"How can you predict the future?" my friend said. We cannot, I am aware of that. All I know, all I am certain of, is that I have fallen into the dark sea.

Swallow me.
Don't toss me.


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

Brevity #4: Breath

As we lay
here
in the dark.

I watched your chest
rose and fell
with every breath.

It felt like
watching a clock
ticking, by the second.

Inhale.
Tick.
Exhale.
Tock.

Every movement
a reminder
of your leaving.

Brevity #3: Of Falling

"I'm just afraid of falling too deep again."

"Just fall! I think sometimes you don't realize that you are good enough for good things to happen to you, so you always downplay the other person. But I do think you are better than you give yourself credit."


But I'm still
hanging on
a loose thread.

Too afraid
to let go.
Not wanting
to fall.

Yet I'm slowly
slipping down.
Because you are
a strong gravity.

Brevity #2: My Forever

We met by chance.

We fall by chance.

I stayed by choice.

You'll leave by choice.

Because forever

might not exist,

not in my book.

Because temporary

might just be

my kind of forever.

Brevity #1: Lament

The gushing wind
the flowing river.
The flying eagle, 
and all the wild things.

Why do I always fall 
for the ones 
who will never stay?

Synchronicity #3: When You Left

When you left last time, we shared long hugs and kisses. And I swear I could still smell your scent in my place for a few days after you walked out the door. Like a taste that lingered, refusing to dissipate. Like a phantom that wandered, not wanting to disappear.

What we thought was goodbye, was not.

Synchronicity happened once more and we crossed path again, albeit very briefly. And I found my world to be shaken once more, out of its equilibrium. Such is your power on me, such is your charm on me.

And then came another goodbye.

When you left this time, we shared long hugs and kisses. I rest my head on your shoulder, on the nook just under your neck that held my hopes and unspoken words. Your skin and beard brushed softly against my nose, and I breathe in deeply. The familiar faint scent of your cologne comforted me.

I breathe in deeply just to take it all in, in an attempt to absorb the moment more. This fleeting moment that may not come again. The world was on a standstill for a while, and I secretly wished it would stand still forever, if not for longer.

"You take care." You whispered softly into my ear, your voice caressing my soul, leaving an echo in my mind. 

When you left this time, we shared long hugs and kisses. And I was left wondering when will we sync again, as you walk away with another piece of me.

Goodbye. Perhaps this time it's forever.

Synchronicity #2: Tomorrow Will Be Better

I will savour the time we spent together. The few hours when we talked about this and that, when you showed me pictures of your sister riding a horse and of your dad doing silly moves on a motorbike because he was not pleased by you and your brother teasing him.

I will relive the time we spent together. The few hours when our lips met and our desire led us to explore each other, hungry for one another. When I feel your skin against mine, your fingers linking with mine. Your warm breath caressing the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine as my blood rushed faster to make me feel dizzy, the air feels clammy as we find rapture and ecstasy in each other’s arms.

Tomorrow will be better because I have these beautiful moments to remember. Even though you're no longer here.

If it's meant to be, it will be

Synchronicity #1: Hurricane

To the boy who came and go like a hurricane,

I dreamt of you.

I dreamt of you for two nights in a row. I was not sure what they were about. I only remembered you being in them. It was not a sad dream I suppose, as I woke up without feeling blue, but with just a thought:

"I wish you well."

I wish you well wherever you are, whatever you do. Even though you went silent and sent no words back, I wish you well still.

You told me that all your travels to the mountains and the remote places didn't make you find yourself. "No. That's bullshit," you said with a soft chuckle and with what I thought was a distant gaze.

But I know that you went out in search for something. And I hope you'll find whatever it is that you're looking for, beneath all the hard rocks, the blanket of snow, and the high peaks.

I am thankful we came across each other's path and embraced the encounter with fire in our souls, the heat burning down from our lips to our veins.

"Grab life by the horns and just ride it!" You told me when we saw each other for the last time. You repeated it twice, it felt as if you were saying that to convince yourself too.

You came and go like a hurricane. It was no coincidence. It was synchronicity.

And I was never the same again.

Why I Travel

I think nowadays, as we are living in such an open world where access to information and communication is so easy, it is understandable that the desire to travel and to see the world increases. To explore is a basic instinct for human, and frequent exposure to traveling in this modern world only accelerates it further.

Personally, I have always dreamed of exploring from a very young age, starting with my interest in Greek and Egyptian myths. And I still vividly remember, one day when I was perhaps about 12 or 13 years old, I saw a mesmerising footage of Provence on TV and fell so desperately in love with its lush lavender fields and luscious mimosa trees. I have yet to visit it, unfortunately, but it has always been on the bucket list, waiting to be ticked off at the right moment.

Traveling or rather, the desire to travel, has become so popular nowadays that some people look at it in a bitter (or jealous?) way, saying that it is another way to show off or boast of your success, etc. In some parts, it is probably true, but why bother evaluating one's reason or need to travel? Some people travel to shop, some to do sport, some to see concerts. To each their own. 

I travel for several reasons, and here are some of them:

1. To eat.
I seek to experience new things and meet new people, and food is a big part of it. A bowl of a simple local dish could hold a deep and rich story of culture. And you bond over food, be it with the old uncle who manned the stall or with fellow strangers next to you. When you've finished your meal, sometimes you're left with a full stomach, a warmed heart, and a broader mind.

Clockwise from top left: Gurney Drive hawker's food in Penang (Aug 2013), tapas at The Bell Brook in Hong Kong (Nov 2013), dimsum in Hong Kong (July 2013), Beach Road prawn mee in Singapore (Nov 2013)

2. To discover the gift of gab.
I often travel alone and while this sounds depressing for some people, I like the solitude it provides, not to mention the amount of control I have over my itinerary (yes, admittedly, I am a mild control freak). Anyone who knows me well would say that I am a quiet and reserved person. I may look outgoing or talkative, but it's a part of me that I've trained in order to do my job. But sometimes on a trip, if I let myself go for a bit and relax, I could bond with the people I meet along the way. These small conversations could lead to some valuable insights and interesting stories.

Paris (May 2011)

This chic Parisian lady (look at her shoes, her hair, her well groomed Yorkshire Terrier!) was sitting alone on the bench when I sat down, and she started talking to me when she saw my Annick Goutal paper bag. "That is a very lovely perfume, which one did you get?" "Violet," I replied. "I have Gardenia," she said with a smile. A bottle of perfume could spark a story, and I kind of regretted not staying a bit longer to chat with her. I feel like there could be a deeper story hidden within.

Hazel & Hershey, Hong Kong (Sept 2013)

I was hanging out with an old friend at a small specialty coffee shop around Wan Chai area, when I got into a light discussion about chemex, aeropress, and moka pot with an Italian guy next to me and the owner of the coffee shop, who happens to be one of the top barista in HK. What followed next was two cups of coffee "samples" on the house. It was not the free coffee that lifted up my spirit that day but the discovery of kindness in strangers (and getting some valuable information about coffee didn't hurt either). It serves to remind me that it always pays to be friendly and sincere to the people you meet along your journey.

3. To be lost and to find myself.
Ultimately, I think this is it. Call me a hopeless romantic. Thus why I don't mind traveling solo for now, while I wait (and look) for the right travel partner to share my experiences with. For there is this strong need to be lost and a yearning to be found harboured inside of me.

The Elevator

Ever wondered why, when you step into an elevator full of strangers, they will either look up at the moving floor indicators or look down to their shoes (or phones). Some would look nervous, hoping to arrive at their designated floor soon; or they will just ignore the surroundings by being transfixed to their gadgets. Sometimes I do this too. 

Somehow I feel like this applies in life too. We are too busy looking up (at the future), worrying about what will happen and how soon will it happen; or we are too busy looking down (at the past), thinking about the what ifs and the shoulda coulda woulda. We ignore the present because it can feel too small and too suffocating.  

Anyway, back to the elevator. Is it the small space that makes people feel awkward and nervous? But if I smile at a stranger, he/she would probably think I'm crazy or suspicious or worse, flirtatious.